My uncle walked away from the generational trauma
My mom is the youngest female in her siblings. She's the 5th out of the 8. With the huge age gap between her and their 6th sibling, I've always viewed them as siblings in 2 batches. My mom is the youngest in the first batch, yet, she's the oldest in the second one. Since she was the oldest child to be left in the province, she basically raised the three brothers in the second batch of siblings.
The second to the last sibling is considered the most good looking out of all the brothers. We'll call him Uncle Bert.
In his youth, Uncle Bert was a slim man with luscious hair. He was always making jokes, he was always funny. Probably because he was actually young and he had a lot of humor in his being.
The gap between his and my mom's age is a whopping 13 years. My uncle had always looked at my mom with the utmost respect. Even now as adults, I believe it still holds true.
While, as you know, I have a huge mommy, I understand that regardless of how much of a tiger she is, she is definitely a caring person.
My culture sees education as the biggest treasure a family can give their children. I grew up with my parents saying that even though we're not rich, we're rich with knowledge, and that we are a family of intelligent people, that's not something we should take for granted.
With my mom's perseverance and desperation to get out of a poor home, she was the only sibling who was able to graduate college. While it's more common to get a degree nowadays, it definitely was a huge thing back in her hometown. Not everyone attains it.
Most women either go abroad to get domestic jobs or get pregnant early. Money is steep, and studying college costs too much, so most people would look for the easiest way to get a job. It would either be construction work for men or domestic work for women.
My mom despised the idea of her working for another person so she strived to get out of that chain. At 27, she got accidentally pregnant with yours truly, so she had to get out of their house and build a life of her own.
Since then, she partly blamed herself that her brothers didn't get to finish school.
My Uncle Bert didn't even get to finish elementary school. When I was in 6th grade, I saw him filling out a bio data, and I saw him putting in Grade 4 as his highest educational attainment. It broke my heart.
I don't know what happened then, but I can understand it must be horrible that he decided to get out of school at such an early age.
He was a smart dude. Even though he didn't finish schooling, he was a fast learner who often gets gigs for work. I remember he had a quick stint as a technician in Manila. I remember him working in a factory in Laguna. For a long time, and till now, he worked in construction.
Right now, he worked labour in construction, and he also works as an informal project manager for home improvement projects in their province. People who wanted to build houses or any other establishments would contact him to help their plan come to life. He would give them pricing on materials, and gather a team of men who would work on it. He would make a lot of money out of it. While it's not a regular thing, the amount is not overflowing considering he's raising 3 kids, and he's the only one working in the household, it is still a great income!
Whenever I go to my mom's hometown, we stayed at their home that he, himself, built. A wide bungalow with three rooms. A house bigger than any houses my parents and I ever lived in. We would always go back home and talk about how amazed we were that his life turned upside-down. My mom gets emotional and passionate whenever we talk about it.
Two years ago, when I finally had the audacity to buy a new laptop, I gave my old one to cousin, Uncle Bert's first born, because he's going to college.
He was very thankful. A laptop costs a fortune, and having one now is a financial relief.
His first-born, Jay, is 7 years younger than me, yet, he is the next inline getting a college degree, skipping 3 cousins between us. I was over the moon, and honestly, I shed a tear knowing that their family is skipping the curse.
Uncle Bert got married when he was 22, he was young, he was just a kid. He would travel to different places in the Philippines for work. He and his family would live with us for a few months, and then with my other uncle, and then back to their hometown. He was everywhere. Especially during their first years as a couple, with the newborn, Jay. I saw how hard life was for them, and how they all strived to survive. I'm elated to see that they're far they've come from the life they were fearful of.
On July of this year, his second born, Eli, celebrated her 18th birthday. I wasn't able to go, but my parents did, and it was a huge party with all the compound invited. My mom called me saying she cried after the party. It was a huge celebration, and my mom was so proud, she didn't expect my uncle to be able to arrange something like that. Kind of smug if you take it out of context, but if you understand how much nothing they came from growing up, you'd feel proud, too.
My uncle is now 43 years old. Jay is on his 3rd year of nursing school, Eli is on her 1st year of psychology, and Lee is in 10th grade. All of them are getting high grades in school, they got scholarships from the government, and are very loved and cared for by their parents.
Uncle Bert's wife, Aunt Dory, is a great homemaker. While she, herself, felt the disappointment of not being able to get her college degree, she now owns and manage their family store, and she's also managing the daily lives of the kids while uncle is away.
It's a great family dynamic. I'm proud to see how they progressed, and I can't wait to visit again on my cousin's graduation celebration!