Love Story
It's always interesting to know how married couples met each other and how it evolved into love and eventually in a relationship. It's something I've always wanted to learn about from my parents, but they never thought it was an important story to tell. If you ask me, it seemed like a distant memory they'd like to stay distant forever.
From the bits and pieces I got for almost 3 decades. Their story goes like this:
My mom and dad went to live in a new city because of their religion. Apparently, loyal members are called to this sacred place to be saved when the rapture happens. You know, the usual stuff.
My Uncle Carl (mom's cousin) was trying to win over my dad's friend, which is now my aunt, Annie. Because Uncle Carl was around them all the time, my mom became an extension of that couple.
Eventually, my dad developed a crush on my mom, but she wasn't swooned at first. She would always say my dad was ugly and unattractive. I hated it when she said that, because she would always tell me I look like my dad. That only means I, too, am ugly and unattractive in her eyes. For a child, that's rough.
Despite my mom's hesitation, she sought refuge in my dad's company when she and my grandfather fought because of a watch that my mom lost. That watch was from my grandfather, and given his values, losing something that he gave you means utter disrespect.
Apparently, they had sex the first night they were together, and they had me.
After learning about my mom's pregnancy, my dad allegedly said he wanted to have me aborted. My dad always denied it, but I know somehow there was some truth to it. If they ever did, I won't be mad. Aside from the fact that I'd be too dead to care, I would have understood if they've chosen a different life.
My dad was unemployed by the time of my conception, my mom was still figuring her life in her late 20s. They were not even in a relationship, they just happened to had a sexual affair and didn't know how to use condoms. They were in their 20s and horny. Who isn't?
The first time I heard that there talks about my abortion, I told them they should've done it. I was in my late teens, I was tired with them nagging about how I owe them my life, and how I should obey them all the time. My teenage years is a lot to unpack, and they do definitely deserve their own post. My parents were shocked. I can't remember how the conversation went, but I do know, for a significant part of high school and college. I wished my parents would've just killed me.
Now, in my late 20s, I can say that my parents' origin story is not as important as their current story. I've moved out, I work from home, now in a relationship, about to get married, and my parents are in their retirement age. I can see that they love each other better now than they did when I was younger.
I didn't understand it as a kid, but having to squeeze every penny and energy you have to give your kid a life you didn't have is draining.
The love I saw as a kid up until college was hostile and tense. We were always running around bills, debts, and retail therapy. While my parents had it much worse growing up, I did have some share of financial hardships, too. I would send a promissory note to the school when I can't pay for my tuition on time. I would borrow money from a store to call my mom and to buy food, my dad would drive his bike to get me to school. All of those things.
It wasn't as warm as some kids have had, and although most of it traumatised me, hence the creation of this blog, I'm always thankful.